Lets have a baby!

Must have conversations before becoming a parent  

Bringing a new life into the world is an incredible journey, filled with joy, excitement, and... well, let's be honest, a whole lot of unknowns. While the anticipation is thrilling, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your partner before considering parenthood, or if you’re already pregnant before your baby makes their grand entrance. These conversations can help smooth the transition into parenthood, ensuring you're both on the same page and ready to tackle the beautiful chaos together. 

1. Finances & Family Budget: 

Money matters, especially with a tiny human depending on you. Discuss your financial goals, income, and expenses. Create a budget that factors in childcare, necessities, healthcare, and other baby-related costs. Be realistic about potential adjustments to your lifestyle and income and explore options like parental leave or childcare arrangements. Also discuss if you would like to put money aside for your child and what sort of arrangement would suit you both best. 

2. Division of Labor & Responsibilities: 

Parenthood is a team effort. Talk about how you envision sharing household chores, childcare duties, and nighttime feedings. Be open to flexible roles and willing to adapt as your needs and the baby's routine evolve. How do you think you’ll navigate through parenting together. Will you consider either partner being a stay-at-home parent? Will there be a period of time where you may outsource help? Find out the duration of maternity and paternity leave given by your employer and how you may want to split that time. Discuss expectations and preferences of help upfront. This will prevent misunderstandings and resentment down the line. 

3. Childcare & Support System: 

Will you be relying on daycare, grandparents, or a nanny? Look into different childcare options and discuss your comfort level with each. Building a strong support system is crucial. Talk to family and friends about their availability to help with childcare, errands, or simply offering a listening ear. 

4. Parenting Philosophy & Discipline: 

Every parent has their own approach. Discuss your values and philosophies regarding discipline, education, and if you want to follow any religious or cultural traditions. Will you employ gentle parenting techniques, or do you prefer a more structured approach? If you follow any religion, do any traditions make you feel uncomfortable or are you okay with following certain practices. Finding common ground on these issues can create a united front and avoid confusion for you both when the child arrives. 

5. Communication & Conflict Resolution: 

Remember, disagreements are inevitable. Discuss healthy communication strategies and how you'll handle conflict constructively. Agree to prioritize open communication and active listening, even when sleep-deprived and stressed. Remember, you're on the same team, working towards the same goal: raising a happy and healthy child. 

6. Individual Needs & Self-Care: 

Don't forget about your individual needs. Talk about how you'll make time for self-care and maintain your personal identity. Whether it's pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, or simply taking a relaxing bath, prioritizing your well-being will make you a better parent in the long run. Make it a staple in your routine so that both you and your partner understand the things that help you excel as a whole round person. Because it will reflect in your parenting. 

7. Birth Plan & Expectations: 

Discuss your preferences for the birthing experience. Do you have specific wishes regarding pain management, interventions, or birthing environment? Talking openly about your expectations can help your partner understand your needs and advocate for you during delivery. 

8. Pregnancy Hormones: 

People are shocked when they get to pregnancy and don't recognise their partner. It's completely normal for the mother's mood to be up and down due to hormonal changes as the baby develops. Discussing things like depression during pregnancy, baby blues, postnatal depression and other challenges will help both partners understand that these things are possible. It will also make it easier to identify them and be able to tackle it with the correct help. 

9. Spend Time Together: 

Pour into each other. Go out together! Dating one another does not end when you become parents. Discuss how often you want to reconnect with one another and what your childcare may look like for that to happen. Will you have a coffee date in the mornings? Or will you take turns to plan adventurous dates? Whatever it is, make it a point to prioritise spending quality time together.  

10. Long-Term Goals & Vision: 

Having a baby is a life-altering decision. Discuss your long-term goals and aspirations as a family. How will parenthood impact your careers, travel plans, and overall lifestyle? Talking about your hopes and dreams for the future can help you navigate the adjustments and make informed decisions together. Remember, these conversations are just the beginning. As your pregnancy progresses and your baby arrives, new questions and challenges will arise. Embrace open communication, adaptability, and a healthy dose of laughter, and you'll be well on your way to navigating the incredible journey of parenthood as a team. 

You choose to be a parent. It’s the biggest commitment you’ll ever make that has the biggest reward you’ll ever reap.