Fatherhood begins before the baby arrives
How to get involved during pregnancy
I know that for the most part, watching your other half go through pregnancy and then child birth can be challenging. It can feel like there's no position for you to play as a women's body does the majority of the work. But you as the father contribute so more than you think to the process of pregnancy. So, I decided to get my partner involved in writing this. For him to give me his insight of how he thinks a father-to-be can assist his partner, as well as my perspective on what a mother-to-be needs from their significant other . Our opinions combined has created this list for you to gain some insight on how to get involved in such a magical journey.
Get informed
Read articles, books, listen to podcasts or audio books etc. It makes pregnancy more interesting and is a way for you to get involved. Downloading an app or searching each week's development will help you understanding what’s exactly going on with your baby. Some compare the size of the baby to fruits to give you an idea of how big the baby is and also go into detail about what types of food the mother should consume to help with that certain biological development. Some apps even have features that tell you how your partner may be feeling due to hormonal changes or explain some physical changes due to the baby's development, which will allow you to better understand your partners behaviour at times.
Create a relationship with the bump
Although the bump may not be visible in the first and maybe even in the second trimester, the baby is developing his/her senses and they’re starting to become familiar with their mother's body and to the voices they hear out in the world. Creating a bond with the baby whilst they're inside can help you stay more connected throughout the pregnancy journey. Things like talking to the bump, rubbing the bump, playing your favourite music or playing a motivational speech can all be things that you do to create a closer relationship. I decided in my first pregnancy to play classical music as there had been studies that implied that it helped with brain development. We’ll do anything to have a smart baby. Attend ultrasounds and feel for kicks. This helps build a connection early on. So do your research and get involved. Not only will you be creating a beautiful bond with your baby but you’ll also be creating a new bond with your partner.
Being of service to your partner
For me the first trimester has always been my worst trimester and I know that its due to the hormonal changes my body is going through to support the carrying of a baby. Some women go through their whole pregnancy without the easing of these symptoms. Offer emotional and physical support throughout the pregnancy. Help with chores, errands, and medical appointments. Be attentive to her needs and feelings. Do tasks that would make your partner feel more comfortable and ease off the mental load. This can help your partner feel confident and know that she can rely on you. Creating a healthy and secure environment for your partner will only do the same for your child.
Get active
Encouraging your partner to be physically active can help throughout pregnancy. As women progress throughout pregnancy, levels of discomfort increase also. It can become uncomfortable to be positioned in certain places and it becomes more difficult to move around the closer to the due date. Motivating your partner to do simple exercises such as going on walks together, stretching, doing swimming, following a simple exercise on YouTube or actually going to the gym together and doing light pregnancy friendly workouts can help relieve the discomfort your partner may be facing. There are studies that also state that regular exercise throughout pregnancy can help you have a smoother and faster child birth. You being present to support your partner will also be another way you’ll bond better with your baby and partner. So go get active together! Note: Don’t nag your partner to get active with you, positively encourage her and make it fun. If your partner doesn’t usually workout allow her to workout at her own pace.
Implementing a positive mindset
Women go through a roller-coaster of emotions throughout pregnancy which can sometimes cause some strain in your relationship. Not understanding how hormones can really dictate a lot about your partners perspective can make you feel stuck or feel like you’re walking on egg shells. It may sound a little daunting, but creating a positive open atmosphere for your partner can really help. Doing things like allowing your partner to express how they feel without any judgement and know that you're listening to the issue at hand and finding solutions that are achievable creates a safe haven in your relationship. Look at everything like it will pass and be optimistic about the future.
Prepare for the baby
Set up the nursery or space you have designated for your baby.Get involved in gathering essential supplies that your baby will need when they arrive (find my newborn essentials list here). As well as the essentials your partner may need throughout pregnancy and afterbirth to help with recovery. Attend the appointments and discuss birth plan options with your partner.
Document your journey
Pregnancy is only 9 months and in those months our bodies change so much. Document the journey by taking photos of your partners progress and taking videos to create memories you can show your baby when they get older and for you to reminisce when you look back. So, enjoy the ride and get involved. Capture the moments and make it fun!
